Debated it all day and decided that today was necessary to adjust what is left of my mind to the idea of being back in school. I am not new at this I am now a full blown student. So now as the ideas become resplendent and the brain grows active. Where do I go? ideas of grad school ideas of seminary. surely i cannot be serious since my mouth is a toy box full of colorful explitives. Toys that have much use and invoke a flippancy that I really wish I had. I take things too seriously and wonder whether or not it is my predisposition or a sin eh could be both I suppose. Yes more likely both. So why am i writing. because the guilt of skipping this class as manifested itself and while i dont' do guilt most of the time it has excited me to the newly discovered realities of what tonights absence will mean. the obvious consequences are that after my trip to Jonesborough I will no longer be allowed to miss class. This is fitting. since i now must attend every class with one fell swoop of guilt and laziness i have inspired myself to excellence. There can be no other option.
So why do i write in this misshapen way to an audience that is not there. Ah my love it is because you are there, have always been there my cohort in all of these deep imaginings. It was you and I that read the eye of the world series. It was you and I that dreamed of worlds with floating bubbles of scent that would reach a hight and burst. Releasing a fragrance that smelled different to each alien that smelled it. We were together in all of those jail cells too. laying out the bed perfectly so that the transition from incline pushup to sit up to later raise was optimal and smooth. I can still hear the chair slide from under the desk, metal on metal as I would sit and rest my warm forearms on cold stainless steal in order to write our Queen. She was so patient, so sweet, so devoted. Now she has created a beautiful turbulent world for us full of possibility and perhaps even slight failures. But we know that God is in all things and has always been. He gave us all each other and our resilience is complete. So let them come. Those that would tell us how to behave and how to please them. Let them come with their fear and weapons. John 4:4 Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world. We come to understand more each day the power of faith and belief. Does it come from reason? is there some sort of sign that is obvious. First) I do not aim to claim that I understand my purpose or God's purpose. 2) I KNOW that God reveals his will to us and showers us with his love. 3) He tells us of his love through the Bible and shows us his love when we diligently seek him and believe in him. He asks very little since his yoke is light.
So on this adventure of journal writing and blogging who is going to read? We will and of course the Queen will in order to embrace all that we are. Who will challenge? Who will motivate. Here is a hint. Everything seems to be so well put together in a beautiful little place nothing out of place everything as it should be. Do we want to change things? are we bright and airy? or wrapped in fur huddled by a roaring fire on a cold snowy night. I can tell you this; I am certainly eating the most tender part of the cow and not salmon. LOL
